Poetry To You
by ShellzByTheSeas
Summary: Antonio Carriedo has just died, and Lovino Vargas is left with heartbreaking numbness. With poetry left back from Antonio, will Lovino ever find out what caused this phenomena to happen to his best friend? (Hetalia AU)
1. Chapter 1

'He stared into honey-glazed eyes,

His brain was scattered.

No longer how he prevailed,

Scattered.'

-Antonio Carriedo

Age 13.

It was a dark day, the clouds were drooping unusually and the sky was giving an aura of grey. Grey as in the colour of dullness, a boring sensation in which you feel totally done with everything and it makes you want to be sad. Utterly and mostly sad. It had been two weeks since Antonio Carriedo died, and Lovino Vargas was feeling grey like the sky. His best friend disappeared in a matter of moments in a vital car accident, due to icy roads as he slipped off the pavement and dived into a stream. A burst of flames scared Lovino as he remembered what had happened. He was watching him from afar in his home across the street from the stream. He waited, he waited so long for him to come by, and he never made it to him in the end.

They were supposed to be going to their friend Alfred F. Jones's sixteenth birthday party at the art gallery in the downtown area of their city. Lovino lived in the outskirts of the city, a suburb of it. Antonio lived a couple miles away, but thank God for his car or else he would never had made all those memories with Lovino. They were best friends, and everyone knew.

No, it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

It never was.

'Extravagent eyes looked into mine,

Desperate for love.

It was not your ship that sunk, but yet, mine.'

-Antonio Carriedo

Age 14.

Lovino was absolutely numb, he looked outside seeing nothingness. He didn't know how to feel, his olive hands gave a jerk of a shake. His eyes teared up. Red. Irritated.

Angry mostly.

"Fratello," said Lovino's younger twin brother, Feliciano, "you doing okay?"

"N-No."

There was a pause, and for once, Lovino finally said he wasn't alright. He was always headstrong, and he would always give out, "I'm fine," or at least, "Okay." This wasn't 'okay'. This wasn't 'okay' at all.

Nothing was okay right now.

"I-I'm going to get Mama, okay?" Feliciano stated, walking off to get their mother. As in a matter of slow minutes, which were actually just a couple of seconds, their mother was there to comfort him. Everything seemed slow now. Nothing ever seemed to go fast for Lovino anymore. It all went slow.

Sweepingly slow.

Somehow, Lovino managed to get to school the next day without breaking down in tears whenever he saw a type of memory that traced Antonio. For example, when he went by the local lake and saw the light sanded beaches drifting through their way out of the sea. It reminded him that Antonio loved the beach, and most of all, the creatures living inside the beach. It was so peaceful, maybe Lovino would just have to travel there one afternoon.

He entered the building, very vulnerable. He didn't know what to do next, he felt cold. A shiver ran up his spine as he sighed, picking up his backpack yet again and headed to his very first class, Maths.

"Oi, Lovino." an English accent came out, the voice got closer and closer. "I see you're back, welcome back."

"Thanks, Arthur. I just- I feel so numb. We were practically brothers at heart, stupid bastard. Why did he have to die, why couldn't I have died as well!? Why do they say the 'good die young' and the 'bad die older'? Why couldn't he have lived, Arthur? Why?"

Why.

Why was always the question in this case, and it sucked. Why is just another go-on transition for another 'why', then another one too. When is 'why' ever going to get a 'because'? It seemed like asinine. Pure and most asinine. Sometimes, Lovino wished for a because. Like the day Antonio died.

Why did Antonio die?

"..."

There was no because. None, and there would probably never will be.

This made Lovino angry.

Because Antonio never deserved to die in the first place.

'As the sun sets,

You go forth.

And when the sun rises,

You stop.'

-Antonio Carriedo

Age 15.


	2. Chapter 2

"Arthur, you just don't understand. Do you?" Lovino asked him, his foot tapping on the ground of pure exasperation.

Arthur shook his head.

"I see." Lovino sighed, walking away from him. "I'll talk to you, later."

He headed to his first class, and took a seat next to his friend, one of the closest people to him besides Antonio, Bella. She looked at him, sorrow in his eyes as she took his little body in for a hug. "I'm so sorry, Lovi."

"I know."

"At least you're at school."

"It's hard though."

Hard, it was. A thing so vital to you just taken away from you in seconds was horrible, and Lovino knew that. He sighed again, he didn't even want to be here today. His mind was racing, pounding of a headache and it hurt him, a lot. Everything still hurt him, and he prayed each night since Antonio died that he would answer his prayers, if prayers were even worth it.

Was it worth it though?

"I... It's hard, Bella. It really is." said Lovino. He took out his red notebook and a bit-up pencil and started to write a math problem on the whiteboard. It was a hard one, and Lovino thought about it. It was the first time Lovino could actually think and he didn't know why.

"Bella, do you think he could've died that way? Usually my papa salts the road in the afternoon, and it's almost never slippery out there."

"Hm, true that."

"What if some asshole killed him! Like a planned murder or some shit."

"Then you'll have to see; check with the police."

"Hm..."

Bella tilted her head to his notebook where he was writing down some things. "You did that wrong."

"I did? Yeah, well I don't even care anyway. What's the point?"

"I don't know."

"Well shit." Lovino sighed and tossed his pencil down onto his notebook annoyed at the whole world.

'Somehow you cannot deny me,

For one there is a plea.

The second the sea.'

-Antonio Carriedo

Age 16.

Lovino was wonderstruck as he came home that day, walking across the long street by the water where Antonio crashed and supposedly died from 'icy' roads. His eyes drifted to the water, constant worrying that Antonio didn't die of a driving accident, it was more of a murder. He kneeled down to the dark pavement, running his hand over the coarse black road. As he lifted his tender finger up, he noticed that there was a pellet of a white substance. He looked at it, concerned.

What was this object?

He took a plastic bag from his lunchsack, and quickly put it in there, being careful not to put it on his skin using the plastic bag. He didn't know what it was, it looked like ice from the outside. It didn't smell like anything in particular, so he would take it to Arthur's house for a diagnosis.

Arthur was a chemist.

He was studying chemistry ever since Lovino could remember, and that was when they both met in elementary school when they were seven years old. His parents wanted to raise all their sons, which was four altogether, to make them successful. The eldest, Scot, was going to be an architect; the two twins, Rhys and Ian, were both going to be doctors; and Arthur, of course, was going to be a chemist.

Lovino was amazed on how of good students the Kirkland family was.

'Some way you will find your way,

During the uttermost luck.

Your eyes show boredom,

But your heart shows sorrow.

Believe in yourself,

And make it big.'

-Antonio Carriedo

Age 16. Age 15.


End file.
